Cobra Commander has had enough of Destro's interference on Cobra operations that he decides to launch a full-scale assault on his rival's castle.

Detailed summary

Somewhere in Scotland, Destro and the Baroness find that their neighbor, Lord Malaprop, has opened a caravan park (trailer park) on his estate. There's also a carnival arriving and gypsies camping in the woods. Baroness and Destro return to Castle Destro, where Voltar announces he has dispersed D.E.M.O.N. squadrons around the countryside. Destro asks if it was done with discretion and Voltar answers "sub rosa to a fault".

Meanwhile, Flint and Sneak Peek are spying on Destro due to the suspicious number of recon missions the Iron Grenadiers have been flying lately, while Shockwave and Outback are snooping at the gypsy encampment. One of the gypsies throws a can that Shockwave picks, and it results to be a Cobra Cola can, proof that those are not real gypsies.

Later, in Castle Destro, Baroness makes an enlargement of one of the telephoto shots she took to the caravan park, which reveals a suspectful trailer.

Effectively, the caravan park, the carnival and the gypsy encampment are Cobra fronts, led by "Cobra Commander" and Dr Mindbender. The carnival trucks release several Maggots that attack Castle Destro (with the Joes trapped in the middle). The Iron Grenadiers shoot mortars to the Maggots, but the "gypsies", led by the Crimson Twins, release F.A.N.G.s and Jet Packs, while the caravan park reveals Stingers and Imps.

Tomax and Xamot's F.A.N.G. reaches the drawbridge of Castle Destro, where they set explosive charges. When the charges explode, Destro gets onboard his Despoiler and leads an AGP squad straight for the caravan park. When the Despoiler and the AGPs go right past some Crimson Guardsmen without shooting them, one of the Siegies realizes Destro's intentions, but too late to avoid being ambushed by the D.E.M.O.N.s Voltar had previously hidden in the nearby haystacks. The Joes (mainly Outback) are happy to see the bad guys shooting each other while they just sit and watch.

Destro arrives at the caravan park and reveals to "Cobra Commander" that the Baroness told him he's really the impostor Fred VII, so they decide to talk business.

Later, Destro announces a new era of understanding and cooperation between Cobra and MARS, marked by bigger profits, higher dividends and increased benefits, a result that both the Siegies and the Iron Grenadiers like, but confuse Dr. Mindbender, the Baroness and the Joes.


Featured Characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

G.I. Joe Cobra Iron Grenadiers Others
  • Campers (4)
  • "Carnies" (14)
  • "Gypsies" (5)
  • Robbie (13)
  • Robbie's friend (12)

Featured Vehicles & Equipment

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

G.I. Joe Cobra Iron Grenadiers Others
  • Campers

Memorable quotes

"This is great! I just love it when everything is going my way! We are going to kick ol' Destro's b..."
"...not if the Crimson Guardsmen don't lower the drawbridge!"
"You enjoy being a wet blanket, Mindbender?"

--Fred VII is metaphorically in heaven, but Dr Mindbender pulls him back to earth.

"I thought Destro had more integrity than that...!"
"It was the only choice for a man with integrity. What was the alternative? Get rid of everybody?"

--Flint and Outback talk about Destro's latest deal with Cobra.

Other notes


  • No errors known.

Items of note

  • Is there anybody left who doesn't know Fred VII is posing as Cobra Commander?

Real-world references

  • No references.

Footnotes and References

You call this a report??!!!

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