The Joes undertake a rescue mission in full view of the media but Destro has an ace up his sleeve.

Detailed summary

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At Dulles Airport in Washington D.C. Billy, Jinx and Storm Shadow arrive on a flight from San Francisco and in the lobby are immediately confronted by a squad of government agents who Storm Shadow identifies as being from the Domestic Operations Agency (DOA). The three ninjas are reluctant to risk civilian lives to accept arrest but outside Rock 'n Roll pulls up in a Chevy that bright yellow with red flames. The three ninjas leap forward, contorting their bodies to get their hands in front of them, and steal the handcuff key then escape. The DOA agents radio their fellows and set off in pursuit, commenting that the car is impossible to hide. But Rock 'n Roll drives into a car wash where the paint runs off to leave the vehicle as a standard US Army staff car, while he changes into the uniform of a military policeman and gets the others to hide on the car floor. The DOA are fooled.

At a hospital in Virginia General Malthus receives a report about the escape and is berated by Senator Hegel. Malthus responds that anything the Joes do will merely reinforce their traitor status. He also comments that there is nothing to connect them, with even the supplies for the Cobra Island operation being contracted outside ordinary channels. They come to a room where Hawk and General Hollingsworth are in straitjackets. Elsewhere the army car drives over the Potomac River, easily passing a military helicopter, and heads for the home of Adele Burkhart where Roadblock has summoned other Joes. In the Atlantic Destro and the Baroness take off aboard a helicopter and Destro plays a news broadcast of Malthus declaring the Joes acted independently and denies the rumors of orders from above. Destro comments on his disgust for Malthus and respect for Hawk.

At Burkhart's house Grunt and Lola explain they came because all help is needed and he heard the message "Meet at Lady Doomsday's". Roadblock explains to Burkhart that this was the unofficial name for the operation to rescue her[1] which doesn't appear on any official designation so only Joes would know what it means. Jinx produces a computer printout of DOA payroll details which shows a lot of checks being rerouted to St. Lo's Infirmary in rural Virginia. Burkhart tells the others that her anti-military activism is irrelevant as she agrees with their pursuit of justice. The Hoes start planning a rescue mission, with Roadblock ordering that no-one will fire unless specifically ordered to. Dusty and Cover Girl arrive with more Joes in the back of a telephone van.

At St. Lo's Hegel asks Hawk and Hollingsworth to provide a confession exonerating him and Malthus but the two prisoners refuse. A bus arrives with fifty armed DOA agents disguised as hospital staff and nurses to replace the real ones at the hospital and Malthus comments to Hegel that they have leaked the location to the Joes who will walk straight into the crossfire. A news team has also arrived as Hegel wants further incrimination against the Joes. Meanwhile the Joes speed through town and Zap reconfirms everyone's orders. At the hospital Hawk and Hollingsworth realize they are now the only non DOA personnel in the building and they are being used as bait. Outside the Joes arrive and Storm Shadow, Jinx and Billy knock out the agents at the main entrance then scale the walls to the admin office. Several Joes are disguised as hospital personnel and Cover Girl explains that the sunglasses they have been given have a polarized filter that will reveal invisible dye on their uniforms so they know who is who. Inside the admin office Hegel and Malthus watch the television as Cathy Terr reports on the situation and suddenly sees Burkhart arriving with an armed escort. Suddenly the three ninjas crash through the windows and attack while on television DOA agents try to stop the cameras transmitting live. On camera Burkhart demands to see Hawk and Hollingsworth, declaring their civil rights have been violated.

In the lobby the standoff continues as Burkhart wins the media war while the Joes disguised as hospital staff discretely disarm the DOA agents. Suddenly one agent pulls out a gun and starts firing. Terr orders the cameras to keep rolling while Burkhart stands firm demanding a ceasefire. Upstairs one of the agents guarding Hawk and Hollingsworth leaves to get help and the two generals overpower the other then use his gun to blast free of their handcuffs. Downstairs in the lobby Lola and Grunt start firing back and clear the hall then the Joes see Malthus and Hegel running and follow them, with the news crew in pursuit. Hawk and Hollingsworth are pinned down in their room when Hegel sees the news crew and tells Malthus to something. Malthus throws a grenade in the room which explodes just as a helicopter reaches the hospital. Roadblock captures Hegel and Malthus, but the latter declares on camera that this is a further example of the Joes being out of control and their action on Cobra Island being unauthorized. However Terr suggests asking Hawk and Hollingsworth, who have survived behind a bed.

Suddenly Destro comes through the window on a rope ladder and declares he's come to see Malthus. On camera he explains that when Malthus contracted his armaments corporation for the Cobra Island operation he "neglected to take your receipt and your copy of the purchase order". He notes the purchase order "was paid through a special services fund. Supposedly for basketballs... it couldn't be that you didn't want the order to show up in the official records, could it?" All this is caught on camera.


Featured Characters

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Memorable quotes

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Other notes


  • If the entire hospital staff has been replaced by DOA agents, why is the receptionist hiding behind a desk?

Items of note

G.I. Joe references

Real-world references

  • The bus the D.O.A. agents and the news crew arrive on is from the "Cramden Tour Line," a reference to TV character Ralph Kramden and his job as a bus driver.
  • In the '80s, several small political scandals involved spending ridiculous amounts of money for commonplace items, like $600 toilet seats and $400 hammers.[2] Hiding the funds for off-the-books operations in the budget for basketballs is right along the same lines.
  • Malthus and Hegel are both well-known philosophers.

Footnotes and References

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