Snake-Eyes decides to undergo reconstructive surgery. Baroness fools Zarana into being captured by the Joes. Clutch and Rock 'n Roll are brainwashed by the Brainwave Scanner.

Detailed summary

In a helicopter en route to the Cobra Consulate on Manhattan Island, Baroness and Zarana have got into a fight after Baroness insulted Zarana's hair. Road Pig's way of solving things - kicking Baroness out of the helicopter - doesn't achieve much as she grabs hold of the landing gear as they touch down. The fight is finally halted by Destro, who has stopped by to remind them their main objective is to complete the brainwashing of Clutch and Rock & Roll.

The Dreadnoks oversee Clutch's final brainwashing, erasing his memories of Broca Beach and instead making him believe he was held on a Cobra submarine. Zarana intends to transfer them to a genuine submarine and then let them escape from it. They set off in a convoy, with Zarana and Road Pig transporting the prisoners in an ice cream van while the other Dreadnoks accompany them in a van. Baroness calls a G.I. Joe cover line and lets them know Clutch and Rock & Roll are on the van. Hawk and Dialtone listen in.

Meanwhile, in Switzerland, Snake-Eyes and Scarlett are arriving at a facial reconstruction clinic where Snake-Eyes is due to have surgery. Scarlett assures him he doesn't have to but understands him wanting to walk around without the rubber face mask he is currently wearing. The receptionist says Dr. Hundtkinder wil see them shortly. Later, Hundtkinder does an examination and compares a photograph of Snake-Eyes before the accident with his currently scarred face.

The Cobra convoy find themselves ambushed by the Tiger Cat and Tiger Sting. A brief gun battle sees the Dreadnoks captured, with Lift-Ticket arrives in Tomahawk to transport the freed prisoners. However, their efforts are hampered by a group of motorists who object to the highway being blocked, with one of them even hitting Lady Jaye and nearly starting a riot. Roadblock eventually quietens everyone with some percussive gunfire but in the confusion the Dreadnoks have taken off in the ice cream van, with Clutch and Rock & Roll still inside. The Joes pursue in the Tomahawk, leaving the motorway blocked.

Zarana and the others quickly realise Baroness must have told the Joes how to find them and contact the consulate. They have to hold the line since Baroness is on the phone to Hundtkinder, who has realised his patient is with GI Joe. Baroness is initially uninterested, until she is faxed the old photo of Snake-Eyes and recognises him as the assassin who killed her brother in Saigon. Zarana then gets through to her, making her even more displeased: They were supposed to lose so Clutch and Rock & Roll's escape would look convincing. She decides on her contingency plan: Detonating a bomb on board the ice cream van.


Featured Characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

G.I. Joe Cobra Civilians

Memorable quotes

  • None yet.

Other notes


  • On page 4, while Road Pig is claiming responsibility for Zarana and the Baroness' antics, his "claws" are drawn so it looks like he's flipping the bird at Destro.

Items of note

  • After getting kicked out of the helicopter, Baroness has a heelprint on her forehead.
  • Baroness' giant telescope is apparently the "City Snoop," according to the label on the side.
  • Snake-Eyes' unmasked face is shown for the first time.
  • Dr. Hundtkinder and The Bern Institute of Reconstructive Surgery return.
    • Dr. Hundtkinder's mustache returns, too.
  • The stickers on the back of the Dreadnoks' van include:
    • STP
    • If you can read this
    • You're too close
    • Beat it!
    • I don't brake for anything!
  • The Dreadnok van's license plate is NOK-1
  • The yuppie's license plate is YUPI-1.
  • Boy, Larry Hama really depicts the civilians on the highway as huge assholes, doesn't he?
  • Baroness's phone is hooked up to a Cobra Fax machine.
  • The letters page for this issue prints a letter from Corey Stinson, the fan who would eventually found the website.

Real-world references

  • The radical airbrushed barbarian on the side of the Dreadnoks' van is probably Conan, since Marvel was publishing a successful Conan the Barbarian book at the time.
  • The "Mister Zoftig" truck is a reference to the "Mister Softee" brand of ice cream.
    • Additionally, "zaftig" is the German word for "fat."
  • STP is a famous brand of automotive oil.
  • In the '80s, "I brake for (insert item here)" bumper stickers were a popular way of showing drivers' interests. Variations on "If you can read this, you're too close" were also somewhat popular.
  • John Denver was a musician known for his light, non-offensive hits.

Footnotes and References

You call this a report??!!!

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