You call this a report??!!!

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Beachhead and Dataframe infiltrate the dark, smelly sewers under the Silent Castle. Their mission: sabotage the Cobra organization's central computer. The two GI Joe team members encounter rats, bugs and bats (well, Cobra B.A.T. troopers) and unknowingly treat Baroness and Zarana to a very frustrating day.

—Back of the packaging.

Detailed summary

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In the dark stinking sewers beneath the Silent Castle, Beachhead and Dataframe encounter rats, bugs and other vermin (namely, Cobra B.A.T. Troopers) as they attempt to sabotage Cobra's central cornputer. Above ground, Baroness and Zarana face one frustration after another as they attempt to stop the intruders.

—Inside front cover

In the sewer beneath the Silent Castle, Beachhead and Dataframe wade through the mess. Noticing the rats are spooked by something up ahead, they switch to infrared, keeping care to make markers so they can find their way back.

Inside the castle, the Baroness remarks to Zarana that the rat-fumigation should be clear, though Zarana thinks she still heard some. Back in the sewers, the two Joes have to continue forward on the hands and knees. Above, Zarana drops a bug bomb down the sewer, causing a wave of insects to fly over Beachhead and Dataframe. Dataframe cries out in surprise.

Hearing the scream, Baroness decides it needs investigation. She sends down a B.A.T. with a camera connection to a remote control the Baroness holds. Beachhead chides Dataframe for compromising noise-security. Dataframe notes the importance of not alerting Cobra that they are planning to infiltrate the computer network.

The B.A.T. lands in the sewer, but the Joes manage to avoid being seen by it. Dataframe manages to cover the camera, preventing the Baroness and Zarana from seeing the Joes, but the B.A.T. attacks anyway. Beachhead destroys the B.A.T., but the dead signal from the camera prompts Zarana to drop a grenade down the sewer shaft.

The two Joes manage to climb up another pipe before the grenade exploded, but Baroness decides to activate more B.A.T.s. Beachhead and Dataframe climb into the castle and find a computer console to upload their virus. The other B.A.T.s notice the wreckage and Baroness orders them to search everywhere, including vertical tunnels.

Dataframe is electrocuted by a transformer, so Beachhead reluctantly takes over. Dataframe then drops a nearby toolbox down the shaft they entered. The toolbox hits a B.A.T. on the head, destroying it and two others.

The Baroness and Zarana run to the computer room, worried about intruders. Beachhead uploads the virus, but processing it will take a while. Dataframe pushes a stack of bricks down the shaft, destroying more B.A.T.s. Zarana and the Baroness arive, but the Joes have moved on.

Beachhead finds the remote control for the B.A.T.s back at the previous tunnel. Unable to use his hands, Dataframe offers to stay behind, but Beachhead carries him down. Zarana drops another grenade down the shaft. Beachhead drops to the ground, injuring his leg, while Dataframe drops the grenade into a B.A.T. torso, which absorbs the explosion.

Carrying Beachhead, Dataframe runs into the remaining B.A.T.s. Realizing the remote control has a self-destruct, they manage to escape.

Back in the castle, Cobra Commander is angry that all his computer can do is play commercials for Yo Joe Cola.


Featured Characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

G.I. Joe Cobra

Memorable quotes

  • None yet.

Other notes


  • No errors known.

Items of note

  • For trademark reasons, Mainframe has been renamed "Dataframe" for this release.
  • Since Baroness and Zarana are working together, this story is most likely set somewhere between G.I. Joe #87 and #97.[1]
  • This is the first time Beachhead's face has been seen in the A Real American Hero comics continuity.
  • B.A.T.s are apparently built with a "posterior attack computer" - housed behind a poorly attached butt-plate.

Real-world references

  • No references.

Footnotes and References

  1. However, in #120, Destro says Cobra hasn't used the castle since Snake-Eyes infiltrated it.

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